Understand the Pattern of thinking before you regret (New Approach)
What’s better than meeting someone you detest in a new way!
Before diving into understanding the pattern of thinking, let’s see a few of the scenarios that one come across on a daily basis.
- Let’s say your goal is to wake up at 5 am, but as the alarm goes off, you snooze it asking for, “5 more minutes”, which turns out to be an eternity.
- Was your New Year goal to start eating healthy, but it’s almost near to the end of the year, and you are nowhere to be seen around your goal?
- Did you promise yourself to exercise on a daily basis but you ended up laying down in a bed like a lazy dog the whole day?
- Right now you may be wanting to do something else, yet you are refusing it saying “ah, after a little more time.”
If you fall under the above-mentioned scenarios or something relatable to it, Don’t you worry! You are not the only one going through such kinds of stuff.
But, have you ever asked yourself the following questions?
What are the reasons that make you think and do so?
Why do you think positive about something you want at first, but when you try to get it you think of something else?
Have you ever wondered, what would have happened if you would meet someone whom you detest in a new way? Would it be possible for that person turning out to be your best friend at the end of the day?
In this blog, we will be discussing a new approach for understanding the pattern of thinking that brings the above-mentioned scenario so that we can improve ourselves and reach the desired goals that we have always dreamt of achieving.
About Thinking Habits
Read it carefully!
Re-read the above-given sentence until you find yourself contemplating!
According to Merriam Webster, “ Habit is an acquired mode of behaviour that has become nearly or completely involuntary.”
As our physical habits like brushing teeth, eating, bowel movements etc form habits. Likewise, our thought patterns form habits, too. As the brain senses something familiar, it immediately interprets this information based on its reservoir of memories and past experiences. These memories are of course built upon the elements discussed above, and therefore your interpretations of reality are only “interpretations” and not facts.
The brain is only guided by the programming that it has received throughout the time till the moment, it just responds to the events and circumstances of your life or events in a very specific way because that’s how it has been trained to respond.
As mentioned in the above scenario of waking up at 5 am, Ask yourself why did you snooze off the alarm?
The answer is simple because you have programmed yourself to respond to the alarm by snoozing to it.
Let’s take a scenario where you bought a brand new desktop and it’s in front of you. Now, if you know about it and can create tremendous stuff on it, it will be a weapon for growth and achievement for you. But, if you don’t know what to do with it, it will be similar to a pile of metals and wires for you.
Remember, the Brain is a powerful tool that will wire itself around the way it is taught to do so. If you tell it about the mediocre stuff you will be having a mediocre life and if you tell it about the successful stuff you will be having a successful life.
How can you teach yourself for understanding the pattern of thinking?
There are various ways one can use to understand their thinking pattern. Here, we will be discussing the Parent-Child approach for understanding the thinking pattern so that next time when we set a goal for something and if some thoughts wall up against us, we will be having a proper analyzing scheme to win against those thoughts and reach the desired goals.
Imagine you are inside your house where you have a younger sibling who is around 9 years old. Notice, when your parents say to him/her to finish their homework before they go to play, what’s their reaction? They refuse to do so, they start throwing tantrums, start crying, show their stubborn side. And when they are allowed to do as they like then they have a big grin on their face, they sparkle enthusiasm, they dance and hop around, they just light up the environment.
Just analyze the scenario and see, the parent is the one who sets the goal, the one who is disciplined and the one who stay firm and in order. Now, if you see the child, when the child is assigned a task to complete, he/she refuses, shows and gives various excuses and try to win over the scenario. And once they are allowed to do the thing they wanted to do, they just smile, light up the environment, makes everyone feel good.
Reflect on the above-mentioned scenario and try to compare it with your thoughts!
What did you get from analyzing the above scenario?
As stated above, A child cries, when it doesn’t get what it wants, ignoring all the things that it already has. A child can even be persuaded by candy for trading the merit certificates — — because it lacks to appreciate the real values.
Similarly, when we compare it to thoughts, whenever we are challenged by any sort of situation the child mind reacts immediately. Just like when someone insults you, you start defending yourself, yell at them or just make a sour face to them. Neither we want to be controlled by such automatic responses every time in every case, nor do we want to get rid of the child mind at all.
The Child mind enables us to be spontaneous, creative, enthusiastic, and dynamic. Those are the things that make us thrive, but if it starts ruling us, we are sure to go downfall.
Now, talking about the parent mind. It is the adult mind that creates restrictions for us like “ Don’t do it”, “That’s not good for you”, and so on. ” It reminds us to pause and assess the bigger picture, taking time to weigh the default reaction, decide if it’s appropriate, give values and opinions, as well as propose other options. The intelligent parent knows what the child needs versus what the child wants and can decide what is better for them for the long term.
The parent-child mind suggests that when the mind is childlike and takes control over us, it means we have failed to train our adult mind which is also to be known as the Monk mind. And we know that, when a child doesn’t get what it wants, it throws tantrums, and we tend to give in to it.
The parent mind is the mind with smarter voices, with smarter choices, if it is well-trained it shows us the meaning of self-discipline, reasoning power, makes us ask questions like, “Why am I doing this?”, “ What did I do wrong?”, etc.
Now, when there is a balance between the parent and the child mind we get nearer to the goals we have set to. But, if the parent isn’t supervising and the control is total with the child then the trouble follows. Moreover, if the parent mind is too controlling then the child turns out to be bitter, resentful which means the trouble follows.
So, what we need here is balance and give the right training to the mind. Filling it with rich information, talking to oneself for having a clearer vision and the most important one is to become Self-Aware.
What can we conclude?
The quality of our communication with the mind is based on the history of our relationship with it.
So, the first step that we need to take is understanding our minds by becoming aware of the different voices inside us. When we start to differentiate the voices, analyzing the different sort of thoughts, just doing these things will help us see the bigger picture and make us take better decisions.
Trying to balance the mind can be a tedious task to do. Bringing little changes while performing the same old tasks or same old chores can be really helpful and insightful.
Here are some of the things that you can apply or install in your daily life for bringing some little changes while performing the same old tasks.
- Using pomofocus or any Pomodoro timer while doing some homework or some tasks that need more of your focus and attention.
This will help you to be focused for a certain amount of time and the breaks will really help you to re-energize and refocus. This will for sure increase your working efficiency and productivity.
- Whenever you feel challenging and you feel like losing balance repeat to yourself, “Make my mind my friend.”
- Developing reading habits. Pick the genre of books that you would like to read and have some concept upon and start reading few pages a day.
All the great personalities present today give their time reading kinds of stuff for developing, cultivating and strengthening their mind.
- Listen to something motivating/productive/inspirational before you doze off. This will help to store positive thoughts in your mind during your subconscious state that can be powered up or utilized in your conscious state.
I hope this has helped you to gain a little insight into your thinking pattern. Make sure to give it a try and see the changes in you! You can start implying the analyzing and being self-aware right from the moment!
I want to congratulate you on reaching the end of the blog. Thank you for your time and patience.
The inspiration for writing this blog came from my current read “Think like Monk” by Jay Shetty. This book really inspires one to dive and reflect deep into one’s thinking pattern and compels one to analyze what actually is going on.
The journey of finding balance in your mind can be tough, can be mesmerizing, might be overwhelming but it’s not impossible.
I am not what I think I am, I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.
Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comment! I would really appreciate getting a chance to read those!
Keep reading, Keep Shining, Keep Fighting!